Peter Gaines – Princeton Friends School Head of School

Mayor Mark Freda: Peter, thanks for being here today.

Peter Gaines: Mark, thanks so much for having me. I really appreciate the warm welcome.

Mayor Mark Freda: We like to have folks here, and today we’re going to talk about the Princeton Friends School, but we’re also going to talk some about you. So we’ll see if we can put you on the hot seat a little bit here at some point. Maybe we could start with: when did what we know as the Princeton Friends School come into existence?

Peter Gaines: Absolutely. Princeton Friends School started in 1987—that was our founding year. The story of the opening of the school is really pretty wonderful, special, and important to the way the school functions today. We were founded by a group of local, progressive independent school educators who were working at an area school and thinking about all the ways that school can happen in the best possible manner for kids. They were working specifically with upper elementary and middle school students and thinking about what’s best for young people. They were in relationship with Quakerism and approached the Princeton Monthly Meeting, which has been on the grounds where our school is for nearly 300 years now. They shared their vision and were able to give rise to a school that made space for a progressive Quaker education for young people, and we’re here living out that vision still.

Mayor Mark Freda: That’s a nice story. What type of education does the Friends School provide? Give us a little more detail on that.

Peter Gaines: What’s distinctive about our school is that we are Quaker and progressive. What that really amounts to, particularly when it’s paired with the way that our students and teachers are able to use the natural environment of the school, is a situation where our kids literally have a great deal of space to be themselves, grow into themselves, bring their curiosity with them to school, and think about what it looks like to get in touch with what’s inside of them that they want to carry out into the world. I’ve had a long experience with Quaker schools. This is the third Quaker school that I’m working at, and I went to Quaker school growing up as well. In the Quaker philosophy is this idea that inside of each of us is an inner light, something of the divine. On a campus like ours, part of what that means is that every child arrives on campus, and every adult on campus is looking at every kid through that lens: “Where is that inner light that I can help you see, help grow brighter, and express into the world?” Because of our setup—have you spent time on our campus ever?

Mayor Mark Freda: Yeah, I’ve been there a couple times.

Peter Gaines: It’s a pretty remarkable place. When you drive up to campus, depending on how you’re coming in, you drive past the farm and Stony Brook, you pull in, and you’re surrounded by the Institute Woods and the battlefield. We’re this little oasis of protected childhood where kids feel safe to be themselves and are met each day by a group of teachers who are passionate about getting to know them, passionate about their subject areas, and passionate about what it means to teach, learn, and be in an environment where kids are supported and nurtured. Inside of our mission is this notion that our kids are getting prepared for lives ahead in the world that is, and also that every day on our campus, we’re modeling for kids the possibilities of what the world can be. That’s part of what’s so special about our school: kids are given tools that help them think about how to bring into the world an antidote for some of the things that are complex and difficult about the world today.

Mayor Mark Freda: It sounds pretty cool if you’re a student there.

Peter Gaines: I’m not sure there’s a better place to be a kid.

Mayor Mark Freda: You opened the door and talked a little bit about yourself in there. You recently started at the school—fairly new. What was your official first day, and how’s it going so far?

Peter Gaines: I’m new to the area and new to the school. July 1st was my official first day. I have been living for the last nine years in Charlottesville, Virginia, working at a progressive Quaker school called Tandem Friends School. I did live in Philadelphia for 11 years and grew up in Baltimore, Maryland, so coming to this area feels like coming home. I spent my childhood driving up and down the New Jersey Turnpike to visit grandparents in New York. During my 11 years in Philadelphia, I spent 10 of them working at a big Quaker school there and used to bring kids out to Princeton to see readings at the university. I have a wonderful memory of sitting and listening to Seamus Heaney read poetry with a group of my English students, looking around at the luminaries in the crowd. It’s been a wonderful arrival at the school. I was drawn immediately to the exchange of humanity in the community that is Princeton Friends School. The people working at the school are exceptional educators who are so devoted to their craft and to the kids in their care. Our families are grateful for what the school provides, excited to bring their kids to campus, hang out at drop-off, and connect with each other. It’s been a very warm welcome that I’m grateful for and proud to be a part of.

Mayor Mark Freda: Could you share some of your formal education and background that helped prepare you for these roles at the different Friends schools you’ve been at?

Peter Gaines: I grew up in Baltimore and went to Friends School of Baltimore. My parents sent me to our local elementary school in Baltimore, and I was there through fourth grade when they moved me over to Friends School of Baltimore. I had the good fortune of being a student there through graduation. I went off to Colby College in Waterville, Maine, and studied English. When I graduated from Colby, I was interested in education and had an opportunity to take a job with the Steppingstone Scholars Program, an organization that had just expanded into Philadelphia—it has since merged into an organization called Heights Philadelphia. It’s designed to support access to independent schools for families who otherwise would not be able to access those opportunities. In my time at Steppingstone, we worked with area independent schools, and one of them approached me about an opportunity to join their admissions office and English department. I took a job at Abington Friends School just outside of Philadelphia, teaching English and doing admissions, and spent 10 wonderful years there. While at Abington Friends, I had an opportunity to participate in a two-year program offered by the Friends Council on Education designed to foster leadership in Friends schools. Also during my time at Abington Friends, I pursued an MFA in poetry, which has turned out to be a wonderful set of training for being a school leader—thinking about what it means to bring creativity into the world, support other people in what they’re working on, and do it in a precise, careful, and studied way. After Abington Friends School, I moved to Michigan and spent six years at University Liggett School. I was attracted to my role there partly because the school was rethinking what education could be. It had been a traditional AP-driven program, saw a better way for kids, and developed a four-year academic research program in the high school that prepared kids for what’s ahead authentic to their interests and curiosities. From there, I had the opportunity to serve at Tandem Friends School for the last nine years as director of the upper school and then assistant head of school for mission and values. That’s been my experience to date.

Mayor Mark Freda: What attracted you to the position here at the Princeton Friends School?

Peter Gaines: To me, Princeton Friends School is expressing what a school should be expressing for kids. That’s really what drew me: the opportunity to take the things I’ve experienced and bring them to a school where I can lead and help it grow forward. Our school has such a strong foundation, history, and founding vision, with real space to grow into all the things that are possible for us to be the flourishing place we want to be for kids.

Mayor Mark Freda: Do you need to be a Quaker to attend the school?

Peter Gaines: No, you do not need to be a Quaker to attend the school. Across the country in Quaker schools, there are substantially fewer students who are Quaker attending Quaker schools than students of other faith backgrounds. Quaker schools were intentionally designed for everyone and have a value set that maps very easily onto lots of faith traditions, as well as onto people who do not come from a faith tradition. So there is absolutely no need to be Quaker to attend a Quaker school.

Mayor Mark Freda: Good point to get out there for folks. What grades are taught at the school?

Peter Gaines: At Princeton Friends School, we are preschool through eighth grade. For the first time this year, we’re bringing in a preschool class of three- and four-year-olds. Our students go all the way through eighth grade and then move on to area public schools and area private schools—some day, some boarding.

Mayor Mark Freda: About how many students attend the school?

Peter Gaines: We will open this year probably with 88 students across preschool through eighth grade. It’s a very small and nurturing environment for the kids in our classes.

Mayor Mark Freda: So the classroom sizes are probably typically small?

Peter Gaines: Small classes—10 students in a class, 15 students in a class, sometimes fewer in particular special environments for students as well.

Mayor Mark Freda: Part of what attracts people to a school is the school’s core values. Could you chat a little bit about the core values at Princeton Friends School?

Peter Gaines: Our core values are Quaker values. A huge piece of the Quaker ethos is wrapped up in the fact that there’s that of God, or an inner light, in every person. We’re looking at students and each other that way. In Quakerism, there’s a set of values known as the SPICES, which came about because of the way Friends schools over the years have talked about their values: Simplicity, Peace, Integrity, Community, Equality, and Stewardship. If you walk into just about any Quaker school around the country, you’ll hear people talking about those values. They are lived every day at school in all kinds of ways. At this point, Quaker meetings also talk about the SPICES, which originally came out of schools’ ways of describing their values.

Mayor Mark Freda: Having heard those values, how would an education at the Friends School differ from any other school?

Peter Gaines: That’s a great question. At our Friends school, it differs in the way that we use our campus. Because we are Quaker, progressive, and take an outdoor approach that takes advantage of the place we’re in, there are a lot of unique things about an education at Princeton Friends School. They are grounded in the values of the school and the ways in which we think about stewardship: how we take care of the campus environment, tend the garden, learn in the stream, and make use of the spaces around us. Our kids spend an incredible amount of time in the woods behind the school.

Mayor Mark Freda: The setting for the school is pretty unique; you’re not going to find too many schools that have that sort of setting. Peter, there must have been a search committee that you had to deal with in the process of finding a new head for the school. What was that like? Were there specific things they were hoping you and other candidates would have?

Peter Gaines: The search committee was a wonderful group. My experience as a candidate was really enriched by my interactions with them. I was impressed right away when I met with that group on Zoom by how inclusive they were in drawing in parents, trustees, faculty, and staff, and how they shared the school with me as they were getting to know me. At each step, I found myself deepening my appreciation for the school, the community, and the quality of education students receive at Princeton Friends School. In terms of what they were looking for, a big piece was the opportunity to bring someone into the community who has a strong background with Friends schools, who could see and understand the vision of the place, and think about how to carry that forward in the best possible ways. We are a school that has had some leadership transition in the last five to seven years, and it was important to the committee to meet someone who understands the values, vision, and mission of the school and can bring that forward. For me and for them, a feeling of match continued to unfold as the process went on.

Mayor Mark Freda: Reading the tea leaves, you’re going to be here for a while.

Peter Gaines: That’s the plan, absolutely. I’m really happy to have landed at Princeton Friends School, really proud of our program and the faculty delivering it, and very excited for the opportunity to help them see their best future.

Mayor Mark Freda: Are the students primarily from Princeton or the surrounding towns, or where do they come from?

Peter Gaines: Our students really come from all over, which is one of the special things about the place. Kids arrive from surrounding zip codes all over the area, show up, and wind up joining a family of peers. Because of the size of our school, they end up getting to know each other, connecting, and building relationships that stretch across geography.

Mayor Mark Freda: Any plans for the future of the school, either from the search process or just in the time you’ve been here, that you’re saying, “Here’s some things that might be good for the future”?

Peter Gaines: A couple things are coming up. If you’re paying attention around town, hopefully you’ll see a new logo for the school appearing shortly, and our families will hear about it as school opens this year. We just built a new playground that we raised money for last spring and implemented this summer, so our youngest students will have the opportunity to take advantage of a wonderful new play space. We recently developed a bike program and now have access to a set of bikes for our students so we can unlock the gate behind campus and ride into town, or ride further down to the stream and stretch the walls of campus out. Looking ahead, founded in 1987, we’re going to celebrate our 40th birthday in the next couple of years, and we’re thinking about what it looks like to honor where we’ve come from and where we’re going.

Mayor Mark Freda: You have so many opportunities there. Looking at the site itself, you’re right by the battlefield, and the meeting house has basically been there about 300 years. There’s so much history right there. I imagine it’s easy for the school to share the history of the area, the school, or Quakerism itself with the students.

Peter Gaines: Absolutely. We enjoy an essential relationship with the meeting itself, and we’ve also developed a wonderful relationship with the battlefield and the historians who work there. Our school has a program called Central Study, an anchoring theme each year that gives students grounding for the learning they’re doing across the curriculum. This year, our Central Study theme is “Roots and Routes.” We’re looking at where we’ve been and where we’re going. Our faculty has been planning the launch of that central study for this fall. Our aim is to take hold of our connection to the battlefield, use the battlefield space, and look with our students at all the different routes to the battlefield, think about the history rooted there, and explore that together across the school.

Mayor Mark Freda: In addition to Central Study, are there other elements of the program at the school you’d care to share with us?

Peter Gaines: In addition to the work across traditional subject areas, our students experience some distinctive programmatic opportunities. We have a storytelling unit that all of our students engage in during the winter. Every student is asked to take a folk tale or story important to them and make it their own. We bring in storytellers who work with kids and help them understand what it looks like to tell a story performatively, not just reading pages. Students take ownership over stories across the years, developing ease with public speaking, expression, and creative adaptation. Similarly, in the spring, our kids encounter a poetry night where we spend a couple of weeks in English classes focusing on poetry. They study poetry and write their own, and there’s an evening where every student gets up and reads one of their poems. You see confidence bloom as they share something of value they’ve created with the whole community. Parents are invited in. We’d love to see you there if you’re interested in coming along; it will be in April this year.

Mayor Mark Freda: Happy to be there. That sounds like a great event. Peter, thanks for sharing so much about Princeton Friends School. This has really been a great discussion. I appreciate you being here.

Peter Gaines: Thank you, Mark. I really appreciate you having me, and I appreciate your kindness and ease in helping me join your show and share about our school.